How much should we reveal about ourselves to our clients? Can we reveal too much? What if we don’t reveal anything at all about ourselves, does this matter?
All of these questions relate to the concept of self-disclosure, which refers to voluntarily divulging information about ourselves that would otherwise be unknown to others in the social situation we are in. We reveal ourselves to others by what we say and do (and by what we don’t say or do). Revealing information about ourselves can help others to form an impression of us.
We disclose ourselves to others with the intention of making ourselves known to them and for them to perceive us in the same way we perceive ourselves. If our self-disclosure is authentic (honest), reciprocated self-disclosure with clients can increase familiarity and enhance relationships.
The more personal information we disclose, the more personal information they are likely to disclose back to us (known as reciprocity). Even if the other person believes we are revealing too much about ourselves or doing so too quickly, they will still probably reveal more about themselves than they might otherwise do. Not disclosing anything about ourselves may make us seem more clinical and detached, but some clients prefer this; it depends who you are working with.
The personal trainer must also take into account the social norms of the personal training relationship to determine how much or what kind of self-disclosure is appropriate. For example, disclosing your own personal battle with obesity may be appropriate, but revealing your religious beliefs or political views may not.
The quality of the personal training relationship and the amount of trust present is a good indicator of how much to self-disclose. The closer we are to a client, the more topics we disclose to them and any individual issue may be discussed more in-depth. The more we trust someone, the more we are prepared to self-disclose to them. Disclose too much to a new client, and you might not see them again!
How much you self-disclose to your clients is ultimately your decision, but please take into account professional and personal boundaries, and the client’s themselves; some clients just want to be trained, whilst others like the more ‘personal touch’ – you have to use your own judgement for this. My own opinion is that personal training is ‘personal’, and getting to know your clients and them getting to know you, enhances the relationship and leads to more productive work.
I shall close by quoting what REPs has to say about relationships:
“Principle 2: Relationships
‘Exercise professionals will seek to nurture healthy relationships with their customers and other health professionals’
Compliance with this principle requires exercise professionals to develop and maintain a relationship with customers based on openness, honesty, mutual trust and respect and to responsibly demonstrate:
- Awareness of the requirement to place the customer’s needs as a priority and promote their welfare and best interests first when planning an appropriate training programme.
- Clarity in all forms of communication with customers, professional colleagues and medical practitioners, ensuring honesty, accuracy and cooperation when seeking agreements and avoiding misrepresentation or any conflict of interest arising between customers’ and own professional obligations.
- Integrity as an exercise professional and recognition of the position of trust dictated by that role, ensuring avoidance of inappropriate behaviour in customer relationships. Any consensual relationship between persons of full age would not, however, be considered inappropriate.”